Sorry to burst this bubble, but if you're driving hard enough to worry about whether TCS is on or off, you're killing your tranny....
Either way, you're putting excessive strain on the tranny.
I do have this to say. With TCS on, if the tires break loose the ignition drops and you lose power. With this being said it's quite possible that having TCS on is easier on the tranny. Yes, the ABS is incorporated into the TCS, but the fact that power is cut at the crank makes for less stress on the input shaft to the tranny.
Disclaimer:
This is purely my own speculation drawn from my own conclusions having some knowledge of how the TCS works. I have read nothing that proves anything, so if you have an argument, please educate me.