What makes sense to you doesnt necessarily mean it does for her as well. Here lies the casam that is growing wider apart. You can only make up your mind...never hers...she is the only one that can do that.
I'll just float this as a theory...when she came to visit and celebrated your anniversary, maybe she felt a little obligated at that point but I would be willing to bet her mind was already headed the other way. She probably does have some fond memories of your time together, but you have said several times that she never had the level of interest in long term that you did. She could have very well come to visit, bought you clothes (this marks the occasion and in her mind is also a goodbye gift...or "I wanted to do something nice for you")...She said that she loved you...most likely meant in the past tense. Its possible that part of her still thinks well of you but she doesnt see you on her forward looking radar.
My ex-wife and I are still civil and sociable...we can carry on a conversation like old friends, be it about our kids or otherwise and there is never any poison barb throwing. Ironically she does all the things nowdays that I tried my utmost to get to do years ago but I guess it took another kind of husband to make those things happen. I still chalk the whole thing up to giving my best effort but it just wasnt mutual. people have to learn things in their own way.

My wife once asked me "Why couldnt we have met each other years ago?"

To which I replied, "It took 18 years of breaking me in with my first wife to make me the man I am today...To make me appreciate how good things really are right now. 20 years ago I might not have done that."

Youre not only going to get over this, youre going to come out better for it. The ancient Samurai blacksmith folded and pounded the steel to make swords as many as 300 times. Heating and hammering over and over until a pure steel was forged into a mighty blade that holds a razor edge.
Life pounds on us like that hammer and anvil, but it makes us more pure and stronger with each trial we face. the heat of the furnace burns us but we cool down and mold ourselves into better people. Most times we need some help to do so but we help make them better along the way as well.

The true friend walks in when every one else walks out.

You can PayPal my therapy bill

Man, I feel like I owe you, come on.

You just have to accept that the relationship is over. Calling her mom wont change the situation. From the sound of it, she knew you cared about her, so the indirect checking up on her wont bring her back. Calling around will annoy her and push her away.

If you two are meant to get back together it'll happen in its own time. Dont try and force a situation. It doesnt work.

well i just found out my now ex gf, is with another guy after only 4 days of breaking up, she said it was just a break, but i knew something else wasnt right. so looks like we are broken up for good, no second chance with her.

Well took some more advice from my sister.
She went through this same ordeal, but much worse, about a year ago. So she is given much huge pointers, from experience and that she is a female. So I took the gf down off facebook as my gf, and left it blank. I changed my privacy settings so it doesn't show things that are changed, therefore she has to visual check out my page to see that I did this. Sis telling me to not contact her or her friends at all, which I plan on trying my hardest. She says that I want the gf to know she can't just have me when she wants me, type thing. She could of set her myspace private long time ago, I just never go on there. I've been active on there for two days, and got friend requests like crazy, I hate that site (pervs). Anyways that is the shindig.
I've begun to realize the gf has other issues that has her messed up. I've been thinking she has commitment issues, and things add up to say so. She was hurt once with her highschool sweetheart, engaged twice to him, still talks to him, so maybe she just isn't committed.


LOL Tbat, your therapy bill!!!

I wish I knew this sooner, really, I could of spent that serious money I spent on mods!!

Sounds to me like you are getting it together and seeing things more clearly...keep moving forward and youre gonna do well. You will find that life is too short to spend it wrestling with something that cant be fixed anyway. I hung in with my ex for as long as I did because I didnt want to be a part-time father...when my daughter graduated high school thats when it finally came unglued. My son stayed with me and my daughter went with her, but I'm glad my daughter and I still have such a close relationship to this day.

All the "kid" stuff is way off your map right now so I wont belabor that anymore. Just rest assured that when you do meet someone who is willing to put as much into the relationship as you are then you'll see how far apart things really were right now. No need to burn bridges, just keep rollin on your way.

Skip the bill...Batman doesnt charge for helping out...no reason I should either

Well the more I talk to the same people, new people, or what have one, it helps.
Thanks Tbat, but I am sure it helps for you to get that out of your system sometimes too, to let others know before mistakes are made.
I found some new info out.
But I'd rather keep that to myself.
I am giving her space to figure out her life.
But I feel better the more I talk about it and take suggestions and opinions from others.
Even the kinky 31 yr old chic gave me some hints!!!

who's this kinky 31 year old?

x2

So chick I worked with at Outback years ago. We hang every now and then. She's been around too much for me though, I'd hate to get something from her and be really miserable.

Well she finally called me, after the fact I texted her on a subject of matter.
49 minutes of talk time, longest in many many months I think.
We just spoke about friends and such.
She first spoke with like a wimper tone, but then it got normal.
It felt good to talk to her. Seemed as if nothing happened.
I think she just needs time to relax from the whole relationship thing.

I'm sorry to hear about this, I know I'm alil late here....

I know what it feels like, sometimes you never get those "answers" you want.

Sometimes its good to hear back from her, but at the same time, if it doesn't turn where you want it (a relationship) It just hurts more in the end... If she needs the time, give it to her. That's one mistake I've learned from in my past experiences.

i know what your going threw.... my gf has dumped me 2x b4 but i made sure i let her have her space, and i was allways nice to her, and treated her with respect even after she dumped me.. long story short ... she came back again. saying no one ever treated her with as much respect as me

Damn, that is some good news Andrew.
Yah, you can ask some of the fellas I've met on her, I am a stand up fella.
I treated her like everyone should be treated.
It was nice to hear her voice, but today, man am I feeling that conversation deep inside.

thats the way it goes... you hear her voice... or if you see her driving on the road.... then it seems you get sick and you miss her .... would there be any chances of you 2 getting back togeahter