So I was just going to post a thread about those who have bought engagement rings. I wanted to see the prices you all paid.
I am not in the market, was possibly during Christmas.
BUT the story gets better.
The Girlfriend just ended it tonight
So the gf called me up telling me we need to talk. We've been together nearly 3.5 years and known each other for 4 yrs. Well I get ahold of her after work tonight and she said it is in the best interest of the relationship.
Given she is the most honest individual I know, I am 99.5% sure it isn't another guy, but I am not certain. Anyways, I think it is our 155 mile living difference for the past 1.5 years. NOthing in the relationship has changed but that. No fights, nothing. The past year or so she did seem a little distant, I never could get anything out of her, she just said she doesn't know. So she says we are thru and nothing can be done. Being this is my first real relationship, this freakin sucks. I kept telling her there must be something we can do, but she basically says we are done, and I haven't seen her in almost 2 months due to new job. So I am not sure if I am going to see her anytime soon. She also said she doesn't want to get married this time in her life, she is 25. So my plans for furthering this relationship have been and now are shot the hell down. I just don't get how she can just end it like that. There weren't any major problems in the relationship, and she said she didn't talk to anybody about bringing this up with me, she just did it on her own.
So now I plan to have a really crappy night sleep!
Thanks ladies and gents

*pats 20gtp02 on the back*

Tell you what, go grab yourself a Miller and look up the Large Hadron Collider on the internet.

You'll feel better knowing that the world is going to end in a month because of some stupid scientists.

OR, you won't be able to sleep at all.


Either way, I'm sorry and I feel for you. Ema's all pissed off at me because I was irritable coming home from a rough day at work (which I put my 2 weeks in a week and a half ago...)

If you need something to occupy your time, I've got piles of World of Warcraft trial codes. You can come hang with me.

Hang tough big guy,

I can tell you distance is a real killer on a relationship...and it doesnt have to be another guy, just the thought of another guy and too much free time on her hands...there are a million different reasons but be sure of one thing. If it didnt work out then something was missing that would have shown up sooner or later.
It hurts like a monster to chalk one up and move on especially since you had so many thoughts about the future of this one, but I assure you there are better days ahead. I am living proof.

I never in my life thought I would ever wind up this happy with someone...it has exceeded my expectations in every way...and it totally blindsided me...really good things can turn up in places you never expected.
I spent a lot days beating myself up after my first marriage broke up asking myself "what else could I have done?"...the hard answer was "nothing"...almost 4 years is a long time but at least it isnt 18 years and two kids later.

Take deep breath and look in the mirror...and tell yourself you deserve better than this...no one says you wont miss her...I still have plenty of fond memories from my previous marriage but thats what they are, moments and memories...not my future.
You may fall down from this...just keep getting back up...each time you will do so stronger than before.

Here endeth the lesson

Well said, T-Bat.

Distance definitely sucks...been there, done that, don't want to do it again.

I wish I could say it won't hurt, but that would be a lie. But time will make it feel better.

And don't forget, we're always here for you.

hey steve sorry to hear that. If you need to talk you know how to get a hold of me.

Breaking up always sucks.

I've been through the long distance relationship fiasco. She pretty much blind sided me when she dumped me. It sucked, but my friends kept me busy to keep my mind off it.

i did the long distance thing. it sucks.

Steve: if you ever need to get away, my door is open man. Call me if you need anything. Im sorry to hear about what happened, and i can only imagine what it feels like to have someone be with you for so long to end it. Just stay busy, and give the GP all of that love.

Yea,long distance relationships sucks alot. I have did it once in my life to a girl I knew in North Carolina.

Sorry about your pain but personally I think your girlfriend might have to skeletons in her closet. THe reason why I say that is because ya'll always get along and seems like your a good guy and all of a sudden she breaks it off. I know the long distance thing was a reason but it has to be something more than that. Maybe next time you see her, take her somewhere where and ya'll talk about everything.

Thanks fellas. I have soo many questions I thought about from last night after a phone conversation. But I can't end on a phone conversation, that isn't me and I hope that isn't her.
I know the last time we hung it things were pretty good. I met her at her job and met her co-workers.
Her mom adores me!!
I think she just doesn't know what she wants in life now.
And all my friends and people we know, say I can do better, but she can't do better than me!
Which, IMHO, is 99% true. Cause one can't be 100% perfect for someone else.

edit: Her myspace is now set to private, which I got to find out why.

Sorry about that.

You say she put myspace is now set to private? I think she might find other guy. I'm not saying it is true. I use myspace often so I know little bit. If it is under your friend list but she put private then I think she block you.

No, we aren't friends on there. I basically have a fake account on there, just to view pics and what not. I don't care for myspace, lame.
The only other guy possible is her long ago ex, that she had a long relationship with. He lives in Virginia now, was California. I hope to speak to her again this week to figure more things out. She said we were becoming too much as friends, but isn't that what you want a person to be your best friend basically. I don't know, I couldn't ever figure out what the deal was, and still don't. I hope she sheds some light on it for me.

Hopefully, she will tell you what is wrong. Maybe she is now slut/whore. Just kidding. Sometimes any girls don't want to tell what is real happen. Good luck for trying get her tell you what is all about. It will be always other girl if she doesn't want back with you.

want me to request her as a friend and take a look for you?

you can try, but she won't do it, she won't add random people

cant you talk to one of her friends steve? I mean some of them gotta be good friends with you and are willing to watch your back incase something like this happened??

sorry to hear man , this shows how close the car community is then any other community. Were all basically like a "big supercharged family"

If she is taking steps to not comminucate with you then she is done. Her Mom might like you just fine but that doesnt matter. While its probably true that she doesnt really know what she wants you might as well give up on thinking that you can help her find out...or change her mind... or help her "see the light"

I can tell you from experience that women will shield things like this all in the name of "I didnt want to hurt his feelings"...well too bad baby cuz thats already been taken care of...my ex used to lay that one on me on many occasions and it was the most senseless thing I've ever heard. Yes, sometimes the truth hurts but its still the truth.
All you can hope to find out is something you probably dont really want to hear...but if you do find out then it will at least give you some closure.
I've seen my son go thru this kind of thing as well (he is your age)...but he finally let go and moved on and he is all the better for it now. Much stronger and wary of such things and more confident in himself.
Dont wear yourself down trying to figure out what has changed with her...you cant change other peoples minds...they have to do that on their own. If she wanted to put things back together then she wouldnt be shutting you out (ie the myspace thing)...if she isnt "meeting you halfway" then she isnt trying very hard...and what does that say?

Long distance can work but it takes major dedication...I travelled back and forth to NY for almost two years before my wife and I finally got married...but we both worked hard at it because we knew it was what we wanted. That took both of us to make that work...if it had been tilted one way or the other it never would have lasted.

That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. T-bat or someone else who is happily married, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you sort of want your spouse to be one of your best friends (among other things, of course)?

it was just a thought. lmk

dont you have to be supercharged to make those kind of statements

maybe

dang man sorry to hear about this, if it makes you feel any better (idk how it will) but my gf broke up with me too, after 18 months she ended it.

Yah, Tbat, she said that exactly, I didn't want to hurt you. I just want to know how long this was taking place, and other small questions answered. I'm not quite sure what she wants, and I feel she doesn't either. I called and texted soo many people that it is now helping me out. I had work today and is was soo difficult there. I nearly fainted, don't have an appetite and just kept wondering how I was blind sided and how the heck she could do that. I guess I was way more dedicated. I just wish, maybe not, but it was actaully a mutual break up, or something with more substance than this, like a typical break up. Who knows, it's my first one. I just hate to lose any relationships with those I met during the way!! I really thought we could be married, but she never was 100% interested in that idea.
I'd just like some answers and to at least see her face to face to really be broken apart, I'm not the guy to just walk away like that, I actually care for woman, or those that will accept it.

If youre that dedicated (and it sounds like she never was as much) then I'll tell you now, you deserve better. My wife will tell you in pretty short order that the big difference with me was that I wasnt spooked by the concept of commitment like so many others. Yes you do want her to be your best friend...but that comes second...she will be that because of intimacy and trust. Inever have to worry about slipping up because I have nothing to hide to begin with. I dont care if I talk in my sleep

Wow...I'd never thought of it that way. That's a very good point.

steve: i really think that T-bat speaks the truth. Listen to what he said. Especially about the face-to-face closure thing. I really think that i will make things harder on you.

Come over and help me make my brackets for my intercooler stuff.

I'm just that kind of man, I need the substance.
It's been about two months since we seen one another. And that last time things were pretty good, from what I thought. I'd just like to see again what I was seeing for 3.5 years. I plan to call up her mom and let her mom know of the situation and to let me know if everything else is ok with Ashley, gf. I always gave 100%, but your right it takes two to do that. And she never did seem to give that 100% back, no matter what I did or what we did together.
I'm a if it doesn't make sense guy, I will find out how it makes sense. And so far, things aren't making a whole lot of sense besides the distance issue. I guess just talking to anyone I know, helps alot!! Just hearing different opinions and things like that keeps me going. I'v never had my insides tremble soo much before for such a long period of time.
It's almost like she pulled the plug while I was lying asleep with a comma. She just gave up on me. I never expected her, of all people, to really do such a thing.
She doesn't have many friends, only friends from highschool, which are as far away as me or much farther. Her mom is her only true company down there. Her dad is a wack!!
One would think she'd at least keep me around for being the great guy that I am, but I guess that is what I want her to think.
I just don't like the fact that the past 6 months or so seemed fine, and we had taht 3 yr anniversary, she came up and bought me clothes, she said she loved me, I met her co-workers, and bam "sheot his the fan". That just bugs me.

Hang in there bro, we are in the same boat. it sucks i know, it hurts for sure, but we'll get through it.

i dont think steve is gay

LMFAO didnt mean it like that!
edited to sound a little less gay lmao

What makes sense to you doesnt necessarily mean it does for her as well. Here lies the casam that is growing wider apart. You can only make up your mind...never hers...she is the only one that can do that.
I'll just float this as a theory...when she came to visit and celebrated your anniversary, maybe she felt a little obligated at that point but I would be willing to bet her mind was already headed the other way. She probably does have some fond memories of your time together, but you have said several times that she never had the level of interest in long term that you did. She could have very well come to visit, bought you clothes (this marks the occasion and in her mind is also a goodbye gift...or "I wanted to do something nice for you")...She said that she loved you...most likely meant in the past tense. Its possible that part of her still thinks well of you but she doesnt see you on her forward looking radar.
My ex-wife and I are still civil and sociable...we can carry on a conversation like old friends, be it about our kids or otherwise and there is never any poison barb throwing. Ironically she does all the things nowdays that I tried my utmost to get to do years ago but I guess it took another kind of husband to make those things happen. I still chalk the whole thing up to giving my best effort but it just wasnt mutual. people have to learn things in their own way.

My wife once asked me "Why couldnt we have met each other years ago?"

To which I replied, "It took 18 years of breaking me in with my first wife to make me the man I am today...To make me appreciate how good things really are right now. 20 years ago I might not have done that."

Youre not only going to get over this, youre going to come out better for it. The ancient Samurai blacksmith folded and pounded the steel to make swords as many as 300 times. Heating and hammering over and over until a pure steel was forged into a mighty blade that holds a razor edge.
Life pounds on us like that hammer and anvil, but it makes us more pure and stronger with each trial we face. the heat of the furnace burns us but we cool down and mold ourselves into better people. Most times we need some help to do so but we help make them better along the way as well.

The true friend walks in when every one else walks out.

You can PayPal my therapy bill

Man, I feel like I owe you, come on.

You just have to accept that the relationship is over. Calling her mom wont change the situation. From the sound of it, she knew you cared about her, so the indirect checking up on her wont bring her back. Calling around will annoy her and push her away.

If you two are meant to get back together it'll happen in its own time. Dont try and force a situation. It doesnt work.

well i just found out my now ex gf, is with another guy after only 4 days of breaking up, she said it was just a break, but i knew something else wasnt right. so looks like we are broken up for good, no second chance with her.

Well took some more advice from my sister.
She went through this same ordeal, but much worse, about a year ago. So she is given much huge pointers, from experience and that she is a female. So I took the gf down off facebook as my gf, and left it blank. I changed my privacy settings so it doesn't show things that are changed, therefore she has to visual check out my page to see that I did this. Sis telling me to not contact her or her friends at all, which I plan on trying my hardest. She says that I want the gf to know she can't just have me when she wants me, type thing. She could of set her myspace private long time ago, I just never go on there. I've been active on there for two days, and got friend requests like crazy, I hate that site (pervs). Anyways that is the shindig.
I've begun to realize the gf has other issues that has her messed up. I've been thinking she has commitment issues, and things add up to say so. She was hurt once with her highschool sweetheart, engaged twice to him, still talks to him, so maybe she just isn't committed.


LOL Tbat, your therapy bill!!!

I wish I knew this sooner, really, I could of spent that serious money I spent on mods!!

Sounds to me like you are getting it together and seeing things more clearly...keep moving forward and youre gonna do well. You will find that life is too short to spend it wrestling with something that cant be fixed anyway. I hung in with my ex for as long as I did because I didnt want to be a part-time father...when my daughter graduated high school thats when it finally came unglued. My son stayed with me and my daughter went with her, but I'm glad my daughter and I still have such a close relationship to this day.

All the "kid" stuff is way off your map right now so I wont belabor that anymore. Just rest assured that when you do meet someone who is willing to put as much into the relationship as you are then you'll see how far apart things really were right now. No need to burn bridges, just keep rollin on your way.

Skip the bill...Batman doesnt charge for helping out...no reason I should either

Well the more I talk to the same people, new people, or what have one, it helps.
Thanks Tbat, but I am sure it helps for you to get that out of your system sometimes too, to let others know before mistakes are made.
I found some new info out.
But I'd rather keep that to myself.
I am giving her space to figure out her life.
But I feel better the more I talk about it and take suggestions and opinions from others.
Even the kinky 31 yr old chic gave me some hints!!!

who's this kinky 31 year old?

x2

So chick I worked with at Outback years ago. We hang every now and then. She's been around too much for me though, I'd hate to get something from her and be really miserable.

Well she finally called me, after the fact I texted her on a subject of matter.
49 minutes of talk time, longest in many many months I think.
We just spoke about friends and such.
She first spoke with like a wimper tone, but then it got normal.
It felt good to talk to her. Seemed as if nothing happened.
I think she just needs time to relax from the whole relationship thing.

I'm sorry to hear about this, I know I'm alil late here....

I know what it feels like, sometimes you never get those "answers" you want.

Sometimes its good to hear back from her, but at the same time, if it doesn't turn where you want it (a relationship) It just hurts more in the end... If she needs the time, give it to her. That's one mistake I've learned from in my past experiences.

i know what your going threw.... my gf has dumped me 2x b4 but i made sure i let her have her space, and i was allways nice to her, and treated her with respect even after she dumped me.. long story short ... she came back again. saying no one ever treated her with as much respect as me

Damn, that is some good news Andrew.
Yah, you can ask some of the fellas I've met on her, I am a stand up fella.
I treated her like everyone should be treated.
It was nice to hear her voice, but today, man am I feeling that conversation deep inside.

thats the way it goes... you hear her voice... or if you see her driving on the road.... then it seems you get sick and you miss her .... would there be any chances of you 2 getting back togeahter

this builds character. Time heals all wounds buddy. We have all gone through this here at one point in our life probobly, and just about everyone will, its life, just gotta run with it.

and some more than others lol haha

Getting back together, well I hope. But the first call was "never". But yesterdays call was just talking about friends and life, no relationship stuff. I have been slipping in things or conversation about stuff we did, just to kinda get her thinking of the great stuff we did together. I do hope she thinks about it alot and understands that I am a special guy, and not having me around hurts. But time will tell.

sounds the way to go ... i really hope you get back togeather ... dosnt it suck tho, because then it feels like the coupple years you spent togeather were a waste, and they were special and you just want more times like that

I'm not trying to sound like a stick in the mud...just trying to keep you wary.

My first wife and I seperated once for six months and eventually got back together...and things were pretty good for a while but eventually the things that drove us apart came back to the surface. I'd hate to see this happen to you.
I dont know all the deatails and I certainly dont know either of you on a personal level...so this is third party advice at best.

Just keep in mind that you can remember all the good times youve had in the past over and over but you cant go back that way. Whatever problems she has in her head still exist and those things are in front of you. If those things can be addressed and fixed then so much the better...if not, youre just taking another lap around before you get back to the crash site.

Just keep your eyes open and your head clear...that can be very very tough when your heart tells you otherwise, but better that than having to go thru the break-up process all over...in my experience it doesnt hurt less the second time.

Met some 6'2" Blonde the other night. Bad part is, she is even further away than the ex, and she is 50 miles south of the ex. So distance is further and she is near the ex. Got to be kidding me.
Anyways, I am off to NY to have a good time and meet some more of my little sis friends!!

I know and feel what your saying Tbat. I go to sleep fine, I just wake up and the ex is in my head already. I doubt we'll be back together, and if it does happen, you are probably right, it is a crash seen up ahead. Just a shame a good guy like myself getting ruined like this. I always thought she couldn't be without me, but it is just her loss in soo many ways. I've been taking in much advice from my sister, who has been through this situation recently and she knows how chics think. I appreciate your shared experiences.
to better days ahead!

hey steve how old are you ?? my roommate has a 24 yr old friend that is SMOKEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol well i think she is shes about 5ft, she is tiny girl, black hair ... sweet !!! body all i got to say is wow... plus she is single .. if i was i would try to get all over that ... lol haha .. dont worry there are plenty of them out there,

iowa girls FTW we grow em right

I reckon yall done went to sleep on them there Texas country girls. Try the red heads for best results. Especially from East and Deep East Texas. Trust me. Hell, ask Ifitwasnt4u.

wanna hook me up

me 2 LOL

This video will cheer you up. It is funny video.

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/videos/big-salsa-dance.html

anyone been to florida for spring break..

we know how to grow them...

grow them... they just migrate there for spring break lol ... i really wish i could make a trip down for one

i think iowa girls win lol sorry