REASONS TO LIKE BEER BY 7 YEAR OLDS

A handful of 7 year old children were asked ' what they thought
of beer.' Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially
touching

7 year old Tim- ' I think beer must be good. My dad says the more
beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.'

7 year old Melanie - ' Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to
watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.

7 year old Grady - 'My Mom and Dad both like beer.. My Mom gets
funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad
doesn't think this is very funny.'

7 year old Toby - 'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer
and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other,
which is a good thing.'

7 year old Sarah - 'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He
also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.

7 year old Lilly - ' My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the
better he dances.. One time he danced right into the pool.'

7 year old Ethan - ' I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad
drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbeque and they taste
disgusting.'

7 year old Shirley - ' I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to
sleep.'

7 year old Jack - ' My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things
and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad
and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to sit or even stand on the lid.

4. The cat will "self agitate" and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and 'rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door (very important).

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can (again, this is very important), and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will leave the toilet like a rocket, streak through the
bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.


Sincerely,

The Dog

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough , take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical
problem.


And your Daily Thought:
Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

LMFAO!

Oh, how true that daily thought is...

If you have a bad cough , take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough


LMFAO