it just comes from experience.
I used to have to install 7 relays per bus. The shop I worked for put wheelchair lifts in buses that never had them to begin with.
relays are pretty basic honestly.
my best explanation is it is just a switch that can handle a bigger load than most small switches can handle.
Also it allows most of the wiring to be smaller gauge.
your relay is a SPDT relay. "single pole Dual throw" single pole is pin 30 the dual throw is referring to having 2 different contact points (87 and 87A) If the relay did not have 87A it would have been an SPST "Single pole (pin 30) single throw (only to pin 87) and you would have been choosing ignition, OR push button, but not both. there are other variations too, but I won't go into that now.
this diagram may help you understand it.
as it is, the relay would not be energized, allowing you to turn your ignition key "on" to start the car.
pushing the start button energizes the relay, causing the electromagnet to pull the contact pad away from pin 87A and contacting pin 87.
pins 85 and 86 have nothing to do with 30, 87A or 87. it is its own circuit.
therefore you can use the relay to control a positive current, or the negative current but NEVER both.